Dear Daddy Manners,
My husbear and I have always enjoyed attending leather and kink events, but unfortunately, the last few that we’ve attended have resulted in us getting overwhelmed from all these “puppies” running around and running up to us; humping our legs, nudging our crotches with their noses and sticking their heads up our kilts. Well, all that and the barking and we just don’t know if we can enjoy events anymore. True, most puppies are very cute and all, but enough is enough. What should we do?
Al Poe and Gaines Berger
White Nut Plains, New York
Dear Fed Up,
Well, the pup community has embraced, evolved and become more visible in the leather community within the last ten years. In addition, pups and handlers have been attending events such as Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend since at least the late 1990’s, perhaps even longer, with small groups of pups and handlers gathering in the lobby or other areas of the Washington Plaza Hotel and in one rare occurrence at Ritz-Carlton Georgetown during a weekend stay that coincided with a notorious private party in actor Kevin Spacey’s suite. Handlers permit pups to engage in various types of play and everybody has different kinks, fetishes, and different ideas of what each means. Do keep that in mind that throughout MAL history two concepts remain steadfast: consent and respect.
Here are a few things pups and handlers are asked to consider when attending events: Pups that run up to and jump on guests, barking loudly in others ears, licking, pushing their face into crotches and up kilts, or, run rampantly through the hotel’s lobby is really unacceptable behavior – especially for people who may not know the pup. Such behavior can be viewed as pushing a personal kink/fetish onto other guests and lacks the mutual consent to engage in that activity. Now just think about how it would feel if someone ran up to you and began rubbing feces onto your face and gear because unless you’re into scat – well, you probably wouldn’t appreciate that activity much.
Handlers also have a huge responsibility for pups where such a relationship or understanding exists. Handlers should consider keeping their pup on lead if they do not readily obey voice commands while behaving as a pup in public spaces. The events can be quite loud. Leads should be short enough so as not to cause wrapping of other guest’s legs, causing them to trip or fall. Pups should remain at the side of their handler so as not to cause other guests to trip over them.
Hopefully, pups running up and humping your legs and nudging your crotch is something you can both learn to enjoy and truthfully, pups can be quite fun! But if they’re not, find your local puppy shelter, take them for a ride and drop them off; or, find another event guest that would be willing to neuter the pup to help relieve them of their undesirable sexual aggressiveness that may also include peeing on everything. And, neutering will greatly calm their aggression – but hopefully it needn’t come to that.